Please keep our family in prayer. It will probably be another month/month and a half before we have an actual diagnosis to go on. It is sure to be a gut wrenching long wait!
Friday, January 11, 2008
What a day, what a day!
Yesterday was one of those days which you keep telling yourself to stop crying, but the tears just come anyways. We have been extremely concerned about the boys lack of words, but then when you go and read the red flags for autism, you get even more concerned. So many close family members have read the same things and, as it turns out, were worried of the same. We are very concerned the boys could be mildly autistic. Just saying those words feels surreal. As if the thought of having twins wasn't daunting enough, the mere though of autistic twins brings a whole new definition to the word overwhelming. We are going to see their dr. next week who will no doubt order an evaluation then. They don't respond to their name very often, don't follow simple directions, don't connect words with objects-the list goes on and on. I kept telling myself "they are just twins" or "they are just boys," but reality hit yesterday-it very well could be more than just that. My motherly gut instinct has been telling me this for some time. These boys that we prayed for and were blessed with may not quite be who we thought they were. I might have to get to know my boys in a whole new reality. Yesterday I felt very vulnerable and VERY scared. I know God is with us and will provide us with the wisdom to do what is right by our sons. That is where I get my comfort from today.
Please keep our family in prayer. It will probably be another month/month and a half before we have an actual diagnosis to go on. It is sure to be a gut wrenching long wait!
Please keep our family in prayer. It will probably be another month/month and a half before we have an actual diagnosis to go on. It is sure to be a gut wrenching long wait!
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4 comments:
Oh Lynn. This made me cry, because I just feel for you, I do. I have started a response to this several times but seem to be lacking in any words of wisdom. I want to be able to give you encouragement and comfort, but I am not sure how. I know you know it might not be the case. I know you are a researcher and already know all the positive steps that have been made with early intervention therapies, if it is.
I still believe that God has big plans for Brett and Blake, it's just posible that the path to get there might not have been what you planned.
I will be praying that God fills you up with His peace and His comfort and that His Spirit speaks the words to your heart that I have been unable to find.
Love to you.
Lynn, I come by way of Joy's blog--as her pseudo-cousin by marriage.
I have a son who has a diagnosis. He's seven now, and is doing great--he's still got issues, but most people don't recognize that he's autistic. I know what you're going through (although in single form, not in twin duplicate).
While a diagnosis changes your perception of who you thought your children would be, you're given the gift of finding the many many ways in which they are beautiful and amazing and brilliant--ways that parents of typical children don't/can't see in their own children.
Trust yourself as you are their mother. I have found that doctors are not particularly knowledgeable about autism, so you must become your sons' advocate.
The best advice I could give you is first to love them. An easy and difficult thing to do, especially in these early stages when communication is not easy and everything seems like such a fight. On those days when everything seems tough, you can draw on that love--I know there were some days where that was all I accomplished that day and that was enough.
The second thing I would suggest is to read _Let Me Hear Your Voice_ by Catherine Maurice. She had two autistic children 18 months apart and put together a therapy program for them.
It's not something the everyday person can do ($$$), but you can learn the therapies yourself and plan your own program with helping your boys communicate. It's an uplifting story, as well as useful.
Another good resource is a series of DVD's called "Signing Times" which teach sign language for toddlers. If you can get your boys signing, that will alleviate A LOT of frustration, because they can then communicate.
Joy has my email and my phone, so feel free to contact me--consider me a source of support for you! I'm your sister in this!
I'll be praying for you!
Ginger
OH LYNN, I AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT THE BOYS MIGHT HAVE AUTISM. WHATEVER THE CASE ENDS UP BEING THEY R TRULY A BLESSING FROM GOD. I KNOW U KNOW THAT SO THERE ARE NO WORRIES THERE BECAUSE YOU AND DON ARE WONDERFUL PARENTS AND NO MATTER WHAT THE OUTCOME THOSE BOYS WILL BE SO LOVED THIER WHOLE LIFE THAT NOTHING ELSE WILL MATTER. I'LL BE PRAYING FOR YALL AND JUST KNOW THAT WE LOVE YALL AND GOD DOES TOO. GIVE THEM SOME LOVE FROM THIER AUNT TINA!!!!
I stumbled upon your blog from another blog. I know this post is previous, but I wanted to comment. My son has classic childhood autism and it's been a year since his diagnosis. I have been in your place and it's okay to be there. You have every right to grieve for the hopes you have for those boys. Please take my comments as coming from a loving and helpful place. A year from now you will understand more.
You said that your boys might not be who you thought they were. That couldn't be further from the truth. They are the same two beautiful blessings that they have always been. Now you just have a word to go with their unique attributes. Not a label, but a word. They still love, and laugh, and get angry and become happy. Nothing, no diagnosis, can change that. Just like they have brown hair and are tall, they have autism. It doesn't define who they are or who they will become. Enjoy who they are. You have been granted a gift.
God Bless
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